Mindset
When I started out on this journey I had no idea just how much my life was influenced by the way I was thinking. My mindset was incredibly negative and as we are, quite literally, what we think - most of the stuff in my life was negative also.
After much hard work and learning how to reframe and refocus on situations I am mostly positive, and like you would imagine, so is my life :)
Garbage in Garbage out
Garbage in garbage out
Garbage In, Garbage Out (abbreviated to GIGO) is a phrase in the field of computer science or Information Communication technology. It is used primarily to call attention to the fact that computers will unquestioningly process the most nonsensical of input data and produce nonsensical output.
The underlying principle was probably cited by the inventor of the first programmable device, who said:
On two occasions I have been asked,-”Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?”
Charles Babbage Source
Of course you won’t get the right answers out if you put the wrong data in. That makes sense right? You can’t expect to get good answers coming out when you are entering rubbish!
So, if this logic applies to a computer then do you think that it may apply to our very own computer? Our brain if you will!
When I was younger we had a poisonous ritual that we used to undertake as a family every night that constantly fed garbage into my brain. We would all get in from work, sit down in front of the TV (first mistake) and take it in turns to complain about how bad our respective days had been. Common topics would be bosses at work, people we worked with, how unfair it was that somebody got a promotion, the lousy journey to work, the rotten journey home - the list was almost endless. After this was out of the way, we would then sit and watch the news just to top up on the junk.
Of course this was just one of the rituals, or habits, that used to be part of my life and so you can see the kind of effect these had on me, I’ll give you my view of the World at that time.
- I’ll never get a worthwhile job because I didn’t do well at school
- I can’t start a programming business as I didn’t do maths
- I couldn’t do that, I’m not qualified
- I’ll never stop smoking because it’s one of the hardest things you will every do
- The World is a violent, scary place
- People from other countries hate us
- There’s not enough to go around
- If I can’t be bothered to work the government will look after me
These are just a few of the things that I used to think and as you can see they are not the most empowering of thoughts are they? If you think about it, our brain is like a huge library that we use as a source of reference - about ourselves and the World we live in. That is why from this day forward you MUST remember…
Garbage in Garbage out
So now it’s time for my usual question. How do we turn this around?
Well if you go with my library analogy from earlier, then you need to stock your shelves with more positive and empowering reference material. Here are the main steps that I took.
Step One
The first thing that happened was I totally changed my environment - I moved to a different city and lived with friends. I didn’t plan this or know anything about this at the time but in no time I started to be and feel a bit more positive. I found when I went home that I didn’t want to complain about work or the journey as I had quite enjoyed them - a big change.
Obviously you don’t have to be this extreme but you may want to think about how you can change your environment, or at least to change the conversations you have within your current environment.
Step Two
I decided that the old phrase “No news is good news” was a great philosophy so I totally stopped watching, reading and listening to the news. I decided that if it was important enough - then someone would tell me about it. I can’t think of anything that I have lost out on for not knowing - but I have gained so much.
My friend Peter Sage has a great way of looking at the news which is this. It’s the same stuff happening over and over, it’s just happening to different people.
Is there any wonder this keeps happening if we are being programmed by watching the same stuff over and over?
Thinking about it now - why would I have watched a TV show that just focuses on the pain, suffering and bad stuff that’s going on in the World? It makes no sense!
Step Three
Jumping forward a few years…I remember the first time I went through Tony Robbins’ Personal Power II course. This is a CD based, self development programme that spans over 30 days and takes you through a process for changing your life. One of the things that stuck in my mind was when Tony said that he had read over 700 books in the area of self development and as he started to put good stuff in, eventually good stuff started to come out.
So with this in mind I started to read as many books as possible - especially autobiographies as this allows you to see how other people think and deal with situations. I also listened constantly to anything positive that I could. On my iPod, in my car, on my PC at work - basically whenever possible - and guess what? As with Tony, I was constantly feeding good stuff in and eventually good stuff started coming out. The way I spoke changed. The way I viewed myself and those around me changed. But most importantly - the way I thought, and so, the life I created around me changed - in a big way.
Step Four
I guess the latest thing to change is my level of appreciation for everything in my life. I really do feel blessed for everything and spend a little time in the morning being thankful for it all. My body, my health, my family, my friends, my house and where I live, my skills, my company - everything I can think of. I then love to actually tell people how they affect my life and how much I appreciate them - this really eliminates the garbage, whilst giving you an amazing connection to yourself and to them also.
Why not give it a go for yourself? For each person that you meet or even just pass in the street. Think to yourself, and project to them, what is amazing about this person - what is truly beautiful. After a while you’ll find that things start to happen and people start to treat you differently.
Do this for a week and see the effect it has on your life for the better.
Where I am now…
Oh yeah…and by the way - here’s how I think now in comparison.
- I can do or be anything that I want to be
- My software company has done well over the last 20 years without the maths, so what else could I do that they told me was impossible
- Smoking was the easiest thing to stop
- The World is an amazing place to be discovered
- People from other countries are just the same and welcome me as I do them
- There is abundance all around - all you have to do is to learn how to see it
- I am worthy, unique and special
Wow - it’s not until you write stuff down and really think about it that you realise just how much of an effect something has had on your life. What I’ve been talking about is super powerful - especially if you suffer from a negative view of life as I used to do.
Whether you do or not. Have a think now and see if there’s any garbage you could get rid of and what you could replace it with instead. This can have a profound impact on your life for such a simple change.
Have fun
Tim xx
Leave The Past In The Past
Hello friend 
I was out for a walk this morning when I remembered about one of the first lessons I learned from Tony Robbins.
Before I get started I’ll tell you a little tale from my past.
I was 17 and had recently passed my driving test. I was out for a drive with my girlfriend when all of a sudden I noticed the car behind me getting closer and closer. As it started fill my rear view mirror I noticed that the guys driving were threatening us.
I was concentrating so much on what was going on behind me that I started to drive erratically and swerve all over the place. I managed to mount the curb and once I even crossed the white line which resulted in furious horn blowing from the oncoming vehicles. In short I was all over the place and out of control.
In that sense life and driving are much the same. I spent a lot of my life living looking backwards and re-affirming how bad everything was and more importantly how I didn’t like myself or the way I dealt with certain situations. Trust me when I say that you can never move forward whilst you are looking backwards - you will crash eventually. I know this all too well - on many occasions.
So I can imagine you’re thinking what should I do then. That stuff really did happened to me - I can’t just erase it.
This is true but it is a fact that you can only look in one direction at once. If your looking to the future then you can’t look back into the past at the same time. Makes sense right? There is a great way to use this which is to design your ideal future, then to live there by visualising it in as much detail as possible. Try to imagine what it would look like, smell like, feel like, sound like or maybe even taste like - get all of your senses involved to make it as realistic as possible.
I wrote down everything that I would want in the life of my dreams. Where I wanted to live, my dream car, the kind of house I wanted, what I wanted to do, my ideal weight, my ideal fitness level, the kind of people I would want to be friends with - everything I could think of. I then spent a fair amount of time visualising and being thankful for having these things in my life already. I would imagine I was driving my dream car - even though mine was an old banger. I would look through design mags for house ideas. I would even visualise myself speaking in from of groups of people.
As you can imagine you start to get a pretty vivid picture in your mind after a while. So much so that after a while I would have periods where I didn’t even think about the bad stuff. There were also times when I realised I had achieved one of the things that I had written down originally which gave me a huge boost.
This brings me up till today - about 7 years since I heard this lesson for the first time.
I’m by no means perfect but I’m a 1000% better than I was back then. I have my own house where I wanted to live near the country. I had my dream car but didn’t like it so got a regular one for now! I am my ideal weight and fitness. Most importantly - I am happy
Oh yeah - to finish the story….
In the end I had to stop at some traffic lights. Even though I was scared - I had a good look in my mirror and it was then that I saw it was two of my crazy friends, showing off in their Dad’s car. They had chased us for a laugh, so there was never really any threat - apart from the threat I was to myself (and everyone else). Again, not unlike in my life!
So I ask you - Would you set off for a car journey without a destination? I don’t think you would, would you? Of course not - so why do we journey through life without a clue where we are going, with no destination?
I would like to ask you another question - Have you got a destination, a vision of where you’re going? If so then why not review it, give it a spring clean then reaffirm where you want to be.
If you haven’t got one then now would be a great time to start thinking about where and who you would like to be. After all - you are worth it my friend
I’ll be going into much more detail on the power of visualising and goal setting in future postings - I hope this story has whetted you appetite.
Have fun
Tim xx
Feeling the Power of Purpose
Hello there my friend
Wow - am I having an amazing week after launching this blog - truly amazing.
To be totally honest with you I had been struggling with my energy levels and motivation a little since last summer. I bought a house and renovated it which totally wiped me out - both physically and financially. I’ve had to work pretty much 7 days a week to pay things off and get caught back up after not working for 3 months whilst doing the house (a bad idea in hindsight). To make things worse, I had a run of family problems which were also very draining.
In October I was feeling so tired that I went to see a friend of mine who is an expert in nutrition. He tested me and found out that I was in stage 3 of adrenal exhaustion - that is dangerously low on energy. No wonder I was feeling so rubbish.
Anyways, I was slowly starting to feel a little bit better so I took advantage and started to research internet marketing and thinking about this blog.
All of a sudden, since I’ve been writing these posts, building up my social networks on twitter and facebook and designing the blog I’ve totally woken up. To be honest I feel like I’ve got too much drive - it far outweighs my current energy level. It’s like I’ve literally been plugged back into the World. I’m struggling to sleep with excitement and can’t wait to bound out of bed to get started each morning. - FANTASTIC!!!
I was trying to work out what is was about what I am currently doing that has caused this amazing turn around. Then in the gym this morning it became clear….
I have found my purpose, my passion in life.
After all my searching, trying to find what I really want to do with my life - it kind of crept up on me from behind
It pretty much combines all of the things I love
- Since I was a child I really loved helping people
- I love building communities
- I am a huge fan of self development
- I love to connect with like minded people
- I have a deep interest in self esteem and self image
- I love designing, video production, writing, the Internet, software, technology and research
- I adore people and the thought that I could make even a small difference in the quality of someone’s life just lights me up inside
I feel so lucky to have discovered my passion and want to thank you for your support and I also want to thank all of the people who have encouraged and pushed me - I really appreciate your help.
Something for you
Before I finish - I want to ask you a few questions in the hope of being able to pass some of my new found passion on to you
- Are you living the life you desire and deserve?
- Ideally what would that life look/sound/feel like?
- What are your passions - what gets you fired up and excited?
- What skills or interests do you have that fit in with this vision?
Please give this gift to yourself and spend and hour or more answering these questions - you are worth it!
Good luck
Have fun
Tim xx
Motion creates emotion
Hello my Esteemed friend :o)
Now you may be thinking what does that mean – motion creates emotion? Well this one blew my mind when I first learnt about and experienced it, but to be honest it took until quite recently (7 years later) for me to realise the power of it.
Simply put, the way we move and hold our body controls the way we think and feel. Now I don’t know about you but I always thought it was the other way round. For a simple example; I thought that when you are happy it’s the happiness that makes you smile, makes you hold your head up and have the tendancy to move around more quickly. And likewise, when you are unhappy I thought it was the unhappiness that made you hold your head down, have a sad looking face and you tend to move around more slowly. Wow – what a revelation to find out that it’s actually completely the opposite. How cool to find out that the fact that you have a smile on your face is actually what is triggering you to feel happy, and what a gift this is if you think about it – and I mean think about it. Say this out loud to yourself a few times and let it really sink in.
The way I move and hold my body controls the way I think and feel !
The way I move and hold my body controls the way I think and feel !
The way I move and hold my body controls the way I think and feel !
So – to let you experience it for yourself, I want you to do a little exercise. If you’ve done this before then that’s great, do it again to remind yourself how it feels. In fact, our physiology controls our psychology to such an extent that if you truly embraced this phenomena then this alone could completely change the quality of your life.
So, here we go…..
I want you to start by thinking about something that really gets you down. Something that really makes you feel negative. Something like paying your bills or maybe that person that drives you crazy at work. Now, as you think about that thing, I want you to get a sense of how bad that makes you feel.
Now, as you’re thinking about that thing…. I want you to stand up tall, stick out your chest, look up to the sky, take a few quick, deep breaths and put the biggest, teethy smile on your face. And as you stand there smiling to the heavens I want you to try and go to that negative place.
Did you notice a difference? Did you find it hard to go there? Personally I find it impossible, I just can’t do it. I can think about whatever I was thinking about, but the emotion just isn’t there.
If as you consider that! Just imagine how quickly you could change your mood or even get yourself out of depression. I used to suffer with terrible depression myself and even now I will have the occasional dark day. But through the use of this and related techniques (smiling, breathing, fast movement, dancing and general exercise) I manage to make it through will very little drop in mood or performance.
So next time you are feeling a little low or maybe a bit stressed then remember this technique and break the negative program that is running in your brain.
Goodbye for now, I’m going off for a jump around in the garden – don’t you love this stuff :o)))
Have fun and if you see someone looking a little glum or stressed today then show them how easy it is, with a little change in movement, to turn their day around.
Tim xx
The positivity challenge
I thought I would start off by setting you the first challenge that was set for me.
My first taste of self improvement was dealt by the world renowned Anthony Robbins. My friend Faris gave me one of his CD’s and urged me to listen to it. The CD was about positive thinking (something that was quite alien to me at the time) and in the middle of it was a challenge which was quite simple and went something like this …
You must think positive for seven straight days.
By that I don’t mean that you can’t have any negative thoughts, but if one pops into your mind then you are not allowed to hold it there or to talk about it. What you must do is to immediately change what you are thinking about or do something to break your pattern or to distract you. This of course includes those times when people do things to upset you or when they let you down. It includes when that idiot pulls out in front of you and nearly knocks you off the road. It includes when you try your very hardest at something but it just doesn’t work. Basically you must be ready for anything and any situation. Now, you must keep this up day and night for seven straight days – even when you’re tired and the going gets tough. Failure to do so means that you have to start again – and not to think negatively about that either :o)
I’ll tell you – this was a revelation to me. Negativity was something that came so naturally and I don’t mind telling you that this exercise took me quite a few weeks to complete. What I noticed almost at once though was a big improvement in my energy levels and the way people were towards me. I found myself having to look for the good in everything and what you look for you tend to find - don’t you?
Over the next few weeks this exercise alone started to lift the black mist of depression from above my head. I was a dance DJ at the time and I played back to back with my incredible friend Wayne. We played in Birmingham the same night that I listened to the CD for the first time and that night I decided to give this crazy stuff a go. To cut a long story short – the night was far from perfect. We had been promised a sell out night in a club that hold 2000 people. The truth was that 120 people turned up and the club was empty. Do you know what though? I had the best night ever. I was so focused on what was good about the night that I totally forgot that I should be moaning and complaining about all the “bad” stuff :o)
We were driving home and Wayne said – there was something different about you tonight dude. He didn’t need to say anything as I could feel it in my heart but it was nice that he noticed it too.
There is a popular saying “what we focus on expands”. I never really got that until I started doing this exercise. I will go into the power of focus in future postings but I think this illustrates the basics principle very nicely.
Please try this exercise out my friend – it sounds so simple but it works like magic.
Have fun and thank you for your valuable time
Tim xx
ps. Please add a comment and let me know of your experiences
